Michael Kent interviews Judit von Neuhaus
©Judit von Neuhaus, any copy or reproduction of this article or any part of it only after agreement with the author
It can be said in general terms: All people strive to recognize and realize themselves, their abilities and their purposes in life! Because this is the only way to find happiness and true fulfillment. The problem with this is that many are distracted, hindered, misled in their pursuit - by their own thoughts, their environment, and by life itself. The people who manage to follow and fulfill their calling are themselves exactly aware of their purpose, do not doubt it and thus have their full creative power available. That is their success factor, their particular strength: They know (a) their talents, (b) their personality and (c) their purposes - and these are in harmony with one another. The author, coach, seminar leader and speaker Bernard Percy recognized the importance of this combination and developed a consultation in which the person (re) recognizes his or her own success factors and life purposes. For most people, this is a moment of incredible relief and fulfillment. You have to see it to believe it! With the help of a consultant, the person finds out his very own talents, preferences and purposes for himself - systematically, step by step, orally and in writing on self-guided worksheets! The consultant guides his protégé through the program using targeted questions. After the person has precisely recognized his talents, strengths and purposes, he decides (after carefully studying the relevant possibilities) for a direction and works out a detailed program on how he will achieve the whole. Bernard Percy originally developed this advice for young people who could not make up their minds about training or studying. But it turned out that many parents and even grandparents were just as interested in this counseling as their (grand) children - and benefited just as much from it! The program is called "Foundations of Brilliance ®" (Basics for Greatness). The sessions are being held in several countries around the world, including Europe. There are currently 7 consultants in German-speaking countries. Judit von Neuhaus is one of them.
Question: Hello, Ms. von Neuhaus, thank you very much for being available for an interview. For many years you have been a personal consultant and with your work you help people to find their true calling, to live authentically or to find that (professional) activity that is their calling, that really inspires them and with which you are completely happy. Is this right?
Judit von Neuhaus: Yes, that's right, that's exactly what I'm doing. The exciting thing about my consultations is: neither my client nor I know beforehand what the ultimate calling will be. At the beginning, everyone feels intuitively, deep inside (especially when you are still young), the direction in which you should go, but nobody knows exactly what it is - and above all why! An example to illustrate this: someone knows, for example, that they want to be / become a doctor. But why? Why does he want to be a doctor? If someone does not have this why clearly in mind, it can happen that they do not have enough "power" and perseverance to follow this demanding purpose through to the end. The why is important. Knowing it gives the person the stability they need. Or let's say that someone already knows for himself that he “would like to help others”. But why? Everyone basically has the impulse to help others. So this formulation is too unspecific and will therefore not be a real driver for them. So why is that so? Why does he want to help? Is it health that one wants to achieve / improve in the other? Or is it healing? Or is it that he wants to improve some of the other's conditions? So there are very different motivations why the person e.g. wants to become a doctor (or an engineer or something else). Everyone has these very own purposes and it is very nice to find them with the person, i.e. to isolate them crystal clear and, freed from all doubts, to formulate them concretely ... as their real motivation. As soon as we have found it, it almost automatically leads them in the right direction. And this direction is then stable. This knowledge also has another advantage: You then also know exactly what is not a good direction for you. Life is such that it tempts you to do something that almost corresponds to your purpose. If, however, someone has found their own objectives crystal clear in our consultation and has them in mind, they can remain 100 percent true to their direction and will not take an “almost right path”. This can help to avoid some grief. After all, the problem is rarely that someone doesn't even know what they want or what they would like to be ... e.g. artist or similar. The person concerned feels that he is essentially an artist. It often happens that the person works as an artist for a certain period of time or takes up a corresponding training. However, since the person is not 100 percent aware of why he wants to be an artist, he does not exactly know his own motivation, it happens that sooner or later he will take a different direction. For example, when the parents persuade him long enough, or forcefully enough, that it is “better” to study, that art is “breadless”, that one cannot support a family, that other professions are better, that it is dad's greatest wish that his son will become ... etc. And at some point, because of all these external influences or because of the acquisition of money or as a favor etc., he does something completely different, such as to become an accountant. He will then carry out his bookkeeping work like an artist, aesthetically, creatively, etc. But in fact he has moved away from his true calling just to earn money, to support a family or to please dad. And that is exactly what makes the person unhappy. After 10 or 20 years, the person mostly feels lost and has no idea why he lost his energy or why he is not really happy. He only works for money - life is empty or has just become an everyday, motorized, robot-like process. You won't find your way back then.
Question: What actually prevents people from living their true calling? Why can't you manage to define and live your true calling on your own - what are the barriers other than those you just mentioned?
Judit von Neuhaus: Basically, every child feels their true calling. At the age of 15 or 20 you have a lot of ideas, fire, but that fire is not necessarily purposeful. Motivation is rarely lived in a targeted manner, and someone really becomes a racing driver or concert pianist or something similar. It is much more common that the motivation is expressed in a more unspecific way. You “want to help people” or “improve things” or like to “solve problems.” In order to live the real calling, you have to find / know three specific pillars. Finding these pillars alone (without outside help) is very difficult and nobody I have advised so far was aware that one has to find these three pillars:
a) Everyone has something that we call “basic skills” . You have talents, gifts, natural gifts.
b) Then every person has their own personality, certain values, preferences.
c) And finally everyone has their own purposes.
So everyone has
a) individual talents,
b) their own personality and
c) their own purposes.
These are the 3 pillars of success. If someone follows this "package" they will be successful. As soon as the person does not follow this package and does something that runs counter to the overall concept, they will be / become more or less unsuccessful - and unhappy. This idea was already known to the Japanese. They called this the "Ikigai". That is not exactly the same - the Japanese include a different or a fourth point (which does not yet play a role in the first step of our consultation) - but the overall concept is very similar. “Ikagai” stands for the meaning of life, “what is worth living for”, for the intersection of what you love (personality), what you are good at (ability), what the world needs (demand) and what you can be paid for. There, where all four points come together, is the “Ikigai”. With us, the first step in the consultation is about the intersection of talents, personality and purposes. The client is made fully aware of these three pillars - until they are 100 percent sure about them (Figure 1).
Question: That sounds very good. How does it work in individual cases?
Judit von Neuhaus: In a personal, individual consultation that requires a lot of background knowledge. Just figuring out the talents can take three hours to find them all. It is often the case that the person has a talent or ability - say they can e.g. sing well - but then think "that everyone can sing well". Or she can negotiate well with others, listen well, etc. and thinks that this is not a special talent because it is not a school subject or branch of study :-) The existing talents, gifts and abilities are almost always a matter of course for the person - they belong so natural to her that they are often difficult to spot and, as I said, it can take up to three hours to bring them all to light. In our consultation we find out ALL the gifts of the person, he not only has the natural talents but also the things she has learned. It is quite normal for our clients to find 10, 20 talents or skills, sometimes even 50. For the person concerned, this moment is always a ray of light. Because at some moment everyone gets to the point where they are surprised to see: "My goodness, I have so many talents!"
The same goes for personality. We find out all the features here, e.g. whether she is an optimist, fast or slow, whether she would prefer to work with others or alone, as a manager or employee, whether she likes to travel or prefer to stay in the office. In order to be able to live out the real calling, it is very important to find all the points here, too, because someone who prefers to work alone at home will not get very far if he has a job where he works in a team and must travel around half the world.
It is no different with the purposes: You have to find out all purposes, intentions, desires, motives, central ideas, “determinations”, “missions”. So what spurs the person, drives them, motivates them, gives them an incentive, etc. Then you look at what the person has followed in their life so far. Thus, it is possible to find out the actual purposes.
If you have 20 different types of ice cream in front of you, you have to try all of them to be able to determine which one is someone's favorite. So even when discussing purposes and skills, we find out all. So that all “ice cream types” are in the display. And then, when all the “ice creams” are available, we find the best one - which is the most important purpose for them.
This creates an overall package or a much higher awareness of what the individual is from the talents, the personality and the purposes. This in turn results in greater stability - so you suddenly know each other much better. You actually get to know each other in this way. Seeing that is a really nice experience - the point where the person really gets to know himself - or "meets himself".
When the person sees: “Oh yes, that's me”, when they really get to know each other for the first time, ie they don't see themselves as they should be for others, society, spouses, friends, colleagues, relatives, but simply the way she is - then that is a very, very nice experience for them.
You first have to "get to know" yourself exactly in order to find your calling.
Question: So this is the first step in your consultation to find the three pillars and thus yourself. What is the next step?
Judith von Neuhaus: The second step is to derive the true, actual calling of that person from skills, personality and purposes! In the first step you found out what the person is, in the second step what the person does with it.
In step 1 we paint three circles - and in the middle, the intersection of the three circles, is the source of success (this takes a total of about 5, 6 hours). Step 2 is then derived from this intersection.
Example: In step 1 someone could find out that they want to make other people happy by means of "creative communication" (= art) based on their talents, their personality and their own purposes. But it is well known that many roads lead to Rome. So how does someone want to make others happy with their creative communication? As a writer, director, graphic artist, painter, photographer, dancer, singer, sculptor, landscape designer ...?
All of these would be creative forms of communication, art. So that's what we do in step 2. We find the actual activity, life's task, what the person is happy with. This can then lead to very specialized activities such as a "specialist for flower arrangements" or similar.
For example, someone might find in Step 1 that (a) their greatest talent is bringing people together, that they (b) would like to work as a leader, and that they (c) help keep our beautiful earth alive and make the world a better place want to do. In step 2 he could then recognize that he should set up a foundation that finds sustainable solutions in the fields of agriculture, water and energy, promotes and applies them worldwide (and in step 3 one would then work out an exact plan).
You, Michael Kent, once told me that you “want to motivate people to build a better world”. That would be your step 1, so to speak. And in step two the question would have been: How do you want to achieve that? What do you want to do? Your answer was to put out a dispatch, you became a writer - that was your second step.
Question: Yes, that's right! You already mentioned step 3. Then what exactly is step 3 about?
Judit von Neuhaus: Let's say a person finds out that they e.g. want to be a painter. The next thing we discover is: what does the person want to achieve with the job? Would she just like to paint pictures herself? Create stage sets, build a company? Or would she like to found a school for painters, hold seminars? We go into great detail here and work out an exact plan with and for the person. I.e. we work out completely how one out of a now existing scene (e.g. starting from zero) will achieve a scene ideal for him. A program is then worked out on how the person can actually achieve this purpose in life - even if it extends over several years.
The path from the actual situation to the target situation is divided into plans, programs, projects, concrete actions and steps (see Figure 3), so that the person then knows which step they will take - one after the other - to achieve their ideal situation, to realize their dream, e.g. to set up a school for painters. So it's also about analysis, marketing, sales, opportunities, niches, brilliant ideas ... about the concrete implementation.
Question: Bernard Percy's concept, which you follow in your consultation, is called “Foundations of Brilliance”. So what exactly are these foundations for one to become brilliant and achieve mastery?
Judit von Neuhaus: The "Foundations of Brilliance" are the three pillars described, personality, individual talents and purposes. There lies the "brilliance", the basis for success! This is also where the issue of money comes into play. Not that it's all about money, by no means, you shouldn't focus on money, but only look at your own pillars, your own “brilliance”. But we see that finding / defining the pillars is the key to success. And that almost all those who follow their pillars live their true calling, and almost “automatically” earn enough money. It has a certain magic, it is a bit like magic: Those who do what they love and what they “came to do” almost always earn really good money.
Question: After reading this interview, is there anything someone can do to help find that foundation? Are there any tips that you can apply right away?
Judit von Neuhaus: The job you have now has to match your purposes and talents. If you go to work in the morning and you are not happy with it, you should see what does not fit. Because there are many people who start a job simply because of their family, money etc. and then become unhappy. Realizing that you may not be on the right track would be the very first step.
Or you realize: “Oh yes, I'm actually on the right track because I actually enjoy my work, but I work with the wrong people. Or you realize, for example, that you sit in the office all day, but would much rather be outside and have more exercise. Or a doctor might find that he wants to heal people, but he doesn't really do it in his job. And so he is not happy. A solution must / should be found immediately, because the vocation is correct, but the activity does not match it. The person could then e.g. get the idea that he should rather open a counseling center - or better publish books / articles about health. By the way, Bernard Percy himself always holds beginners and Weekend seminars, as well as Klaus Bellmann, the head of the "Foundations of Brilliance" in Europe. Even at such beginner seminars you learn a lot that you can take with you for yourself or for life.
Question: Is there something that you shouldn't do at all?
Judit von Neuhaus: You shouldn't try to conduct the consultation with yourself. Because assuming the list of talents, personality traits and purposes is incomplete (the probability of this being over 90 percent if you do it alone), then not all "ice cream types" are on display, the person chooses the wrong type (because the right one wasn't there) - and then becomes even more unhappy. It is then much more difficult to fix such a botched situation later than if you had done it straight away with a consultant.
Question: Do you have any general tips, regardless of your advice, on how the reader of this article can better find themselves?
Judit von Neuhaus: Anyone who would like to get closer to their calling can do something independently of steps 1, 2 and 3 at least once a week that gives them pleasure. Background: If you feel that life has somehow landed in a dead end, man 1-2 hours a week (or more) just do something different. Maybe start a new activity that gives you energy and joy. It does not matter whether it is a course at the adult education center or sports. The important thing is that you have fun and that it gives you energy. You can also write down the valuable things you have, be aware of what is valuable to you. The person could then e.g. find out that she likes children, that she is very courageous or particularly freedom-loving, that she takes good care of her health - for herself and her family, that she is very kind or that everything she touches is done with a lot of aesthetics and love. So you can make a small list that shows how you perceive yourself. Once you become aware of this, you can reinforce it. So you can create these things more consciously, reinforce the positive things. This makes you aware of your own values. I've noticed several times that individuals have a tendency to devalue themselves - and this method is a way of cheating.
It helps the person immensely to become clearly aware of their own strengths and to accelerate them. For example, someone notices that they can cook well, so they intensify the cooking. Or someone realizes that they can play the piano well and then amplify it. You suddenly see, “Oh yes, that's valuable!” The principle is simply to see the good things in oneself and to reinforce them.
Question: You have already advised many people individually. Can you tell us a few stories about how your clients' lives changed after they came to your counseling?
Judit von Neuhaus: There are the greatest stories. A photographer who booked the consultation is now world famous, has clients all over the world and is very wealthy. A singer also became world famous after the consultation. Another person built a very special company after consulting and achieved sales of millions in just two years. They just amplified the things they were good at. But such super successes are not what we want to emphasize. Success is measured less by income or fame than by whether the person has found himself and is happy. Much more important are actually "the normal stories" from the lives of my customers: For example, a young woman to me. Her life went in different directions and somehow nothing made sense. She worked in part just to make money, but not because she enjoyed it. It was chaotic at times and a little careless. But she kept coming up to people who talked to her for hours. She herself didn't understand what was going on here or what was going on with her. She came to me because she had the idea that it was some kind of leaf in the wind. She had no direction for herself. She then decided that she wanted to change that and came to see me. With me she found her true calling. This was to help people with special problems. She then wanted to set up a center where people could come to her in order to find correct solutions through nutrition, etc. to obtain. This was her true calling. And her very special ability is that she can listen to people very well. She realized for herself that she is not in such bad shape, but that she even has a special ability to help people. As a result, she changed her whole life. She had no professional training, but with the help of the consultation she found a quick way to achieve her purpose. A door opened and she found a way to get an education quickly. Then there was a middle-aged woman who had painted (a lot) on the side all her life so far. But she always did other things because of the money (accounting, designer job, etc.) - being an artist was just a hobby for her. It was through the consultation that she found her true calling as an artist. In fact, all the other things were her hobbies and art was her calling! So she found herself again and asked herself: "Why didn't I do that 20 or 30 years ago?!?" She had been looking for this security in herself for so long. Since she couldn't believe herself that she is an artist, she missed many opportunities in life. The degree of their stability had not been great enough to bring about the desired success. But through the consultation she saw that this was her way! She will build her own gallery by painting, so she can paint all day - and have fun. Even her partner said she should find a house or apartment where she can accommodate a gallery in the premises. Counseling gives one such power, energy - and this force / energy then works for the person. Suddenly things come up to them that were never in sight before. Sudden things arise that have not been possible for years. Suddenly people come up to you who offer something, and the dream becomes possible.
Judit von Neuhaus